Sunday, February 19, 2012

Blogger, This is Why I Hate You

So you spend some time with your blog.  You want to make it nice-looking, streamlined, not eyerapingly atrocious, the usual.  You settle on nice, simple theme, with some pretty-looking fonts.  You're happy with it.  You fantasize about how your painstakingly chosen fonts will lure unsuspecting people to your blog, how your appropriate choices will entice them to read the words you have written.

You can't imagine how you won't get a wide readership in the matter of a few months time.  After all, you are amazing.  You picked a cool font.  That wasn't Papyrus, or Comic Sans, or any of the other god-awful font atrocities of the world.

But then...

You realize that for whatever reason, your font only works half the time.  You don't know why.  You can't fix it.  Your font defaults to some random stock font on half the pages.  You start to worry, but decide that if it's plain and boring--generally it sticks to Times New Roman, which is respectable if not a little old fashioned and stuff--then there's really nothing to worry about.  Your posts will just be a tad less snazzy than originally envisioned, no big deal.   The main page will still show your pretty font.  All is well with the world.


One day, after a long hiatus from your blog (while you were busy geeking out over video games and books) you return after being particularly inspired by a writer on Wordpress.   You are excited, because you now have loads of new and fun ideas and writing is suddenly the best thing ever.  So you pull up your blog page, and go to admire your chosen font that suits your personality so very well and WAIT JUST A DARNED MINUTE.


But yes, yes it is COMIC SANS and it is decorating your page, every one of your posts, like something from the deepest circle of hell waiting to pull out your guts and feed you your own spleen.

You rapidly click again, and lo and behold it vanishes.  It changes back to your beautiful, beloved font, but the damage is done.  You now worry that your blog is displaying one of the most god-awful, overused fonts in the world to all of your visitors.  This must be why your blog has remained widely unread.  It can't be because you've only posted like four times.  Noooooo.

Unsure of what to do, your occasionally pessimistic brain immediately likens your work to this atrocity.

You quietly weep.

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